I want to be upfront about something: I bought this toy primarily for myself. My son Finn, who is two, was the stated beneficiary. But when I saw the Windy Bums Monkey on ALTOE and read the description — "bump to start, and hear it fart" — I knew with absolute certainty that this was coming into our house. Finn was the excuse. I was the target market.
Three months later, I have no regrets. Neither does Finn. Neither, it turns out, does my wife, who claimed she found it childish and has since been caught making it go off in the kitchen when she thinks no one is listening.
Why We Needed Something New
Finn had hit a wall with his existing toys. The stacking rings had been stacked and unstacked approximately ten thousand times. The shape sorter had lost its novelty. The soft blocks were being used exclusively as projectiles. We needed something that would genuinely capture his attention, make him laugh, and ideally entertain the adults in the room at the same time — because the honest truth of toddler toy shopping is that you're going to be in the room with this thing for a very long time, and it helps if you find it funny too.
Why the Windy Bums Monkey
The Windy Bums Monkey from ALTOE's Toys collection appealed on every level. The mechanism is beautifully simple: bump it, and it makes a rude sound and wiggles around on the floor. That's it. No batteries to find, no apps to download, no instructions to read. You bump it. It farts. It jiggles. Everyone laughs. Repeat indefinitely.
The age rating from 10 months meant it was appropriate for Finn, and the soft plush construction meant there were no sharp edges or small parts to worry about. The on/off button inside the toy is a thoughtful addition — useful for car journeys and bedtime, less useful when Finn discovers it and turns it back on at 6am, which he has done on multiple occasions.
It also sits in ALTOE's broader Toys & Games collection if you want to browse what else is available — but honestly, once you've read the Windy Bums description, it's hard to look at anything else.
The First Time We Set It Off
I set it up on the living room floor while Finn watched with the focused attention of a child who senses something significant is about to happen. I bumped it. It farted. It wiggled across the floor. Finn stared at it for approximately one second, then collapsed into the kind of full-body laughter that only toddlers can produce — the sort that makes them fall over sideways and then laugh harder at having fallen over.
My wife, who had been making tea in the kitchen and was therefore not prepared, came in to find out what the noise was. She saw the monkey. She heard it go off again. She laughed. She tried to maintain a dignified expression. She failed. We have been a Windy Bums household ever since.
Three Months of Daily Use
The Windy Bums Monkey has been played with every single day since it arrived. It has been bumped, thrown, sat on, carried around by one ear, and introduced to every visitor who has come to the house — because Finn considers it his duty to demonstrate it to anyone who hasn't seen it. Grandparents, friends, the plumber who came to fix the boiler: all have been subjected to the Windy Bums experience. All have laughed. Without exception.
The construction has held up remarkably well to this level of enthusiasm. The plush is still soft and intact. The sound mechanism still works perfectly. The wiggling action is as reliable as it was on day one. For a toy that gets this much use, the durability is genuinely impressive.
The description calls it "strangely addictive," and that is accurate. There is something about the combination of the sound, the movement, and the sheer absurdity of it that bypasses all adult dignity and goes straight to the laugh reflex. I have tested this on people who claimed they wouldn't find it funny. They all found it funny. The Windy Bums Monkey is, I am now convinced, universally funny. It is a law of nature.
The Honest Verdict
If you have a toddler, a child, a sibling with a sense of humour, or a family gathering coming up where you need something to break the ice, the Windy Bums Monkey is the answer. It is the most cost-effective laugh-per-pound purchase I have made in recent memory. It has brought genuine, repeated, unforced joy to everyone who has encountered it.
Browse the full range in ALTOE's Toys collection and the wider Toys & Games section — but if you're looking for a gift that will be remembered, start here. Bump it. Hear it fart. Watch everyone lose it. You're welcome.
Patrick Dunleavy is a secondary school PE teacher and dad of two based in Coventry. He writes about family life, parenting wins, and the toys that earn their place by making everyone in the room genuinely happy.
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